Dateline: Cleveland OH. Yesterday Mayor Jackson announced the sale of all public buildings, vacant stores, and foreclosed properties within the city limits of Cleveland, Ohio, to Devan Films, a movie company located in Mumbai, India. "The plan is to use the city as a backdrop for a major Indian movie, a sort of sub-continent Gone With the Wind, except without the Civil War, Rhett Butler or Scarlett O'Hara. It will have, however, a lot of angry people fighting each other. And who wouldn't want to see that!"
Cleveland has been in decline since the 1970's losing businesses and population over intervening forty years. The last business to move out was the Goodwill outlet store located on the corner of Euclid and East 9th Street. "Boy, we hated to see that go. Another three jobs down the drain," said a frustrated Mayor Jackson.
The situation for the remaining 23 residents, however, seemed not as bleak. "They will be cast as extras for the movie. That means two, maybe three weeks of work at scale and free box lunches on weekdays so I consider it a win-win situation."
In his final comments, Mayor Jackson was hopeful for the future of Cleveland. "At least the city will live on and be appreciated even if it is a prop for Devon feature films and other third world productions."
When asked about the Burning of Cleveland scene at the end of the movie, the Mayor seemed somewhat perturbed. "I guess I should have read the script a little more closely," he said.
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