| Author | Thread |
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03/04/2008 11:16:26 AM |
| I'm surprised this didn't finish a lot higher! This is a great depiction of that song line. |
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 Photographer found comment helpful. |
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06/09/2006 08:19:52 PM |
Critique Club
Hi my name is Kari from the critique club.
First impression
Wow, I read the lyrics which are in the comments you have received .. what a lovely image you have created using them.
Subject
You meet the challenge so well ... and I don't really know any of their songs .. well not the non-popular ones.
Composition
I think that overall this is done well ... my issue is with the actual bedend .. it really didn't need to be there to complete the shot and only really became a distracting feature from the girl (who I missed at first look) .... the girls body plays well on the thirds line, with the bedend being on the other vertical line.
Technicals
I really think that you have thought this through really well. The DOF gives the impression that this is a dreamy kind of scene without allowing it to be a dream in itself. I really like that the bed is outside the DOF ... and that the note itself can be read.
Improving the score
Think about everything in the shot .. down to the nth degree .. to ensure that the right elements are there, and that those which only cause destraction are removed. This will always see you right .. .It is like my partner keeps drumming into me background background background .. for this shot it is foreground foreground foregrounds.
Final words
I think you have done great to create this image in the way that you have ... you have a fantastic portfolio ... keep it up.
Any comments on the critique feel free to PM me.
Regards
Kari |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
Comments Made During the Challenge  |
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06/06/2006 02:15:04 PM |
| cool idea, could have been shot from differnt angle |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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06/05/2006 04:43:38 AM |
| that's depressing, good picture. nice expression |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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06/03/2006 12:40:28 PM |
| I didn't see the girl at first, then as I looked and saw her in the shadows it blew me away. Great picture. |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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06/02/2006 06:01:55 PM |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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06/02/2006 04:55:44 AM |
| Very good this one. Says it all and more. Well done! |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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06/02/2006 01:32:33 AM |
| great picture....tells a story!! |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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06/01/2006 02:58:48 PM |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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05/31/2006 04:19:06 PM |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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05/31/2006 03:56:02 PM |
| A different crop might help the comp on this otherwise great image. |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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05/31/2006 11:38:29 AM |
Silently closing her bedroom door
Leaving the note that she hoped would say more
She goes downstairs to the kitchen
clutching her handkerchief
Quietly turning the back door key
Stepping outside she is free
You have followed the lyrics to perfection,with good photography,you get my top shelf vote....10 |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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05/31/2006 11:13:47 AM |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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05/31/2006 10:23:06 AM |
| Nice shot. Good story telling photo. |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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05/31/2006 09:04:01 AM |
| Great shot, and set up. The pole in the middle is a bit distracting, but it's an overall good shot. |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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05/31/2006 08:05:42 AM |
| I'd like to see more of the girl's emotion somehow.......and less of the lamp |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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05/31/2006 06:40:40 AM |
| The foot railing on the bed is a distraction for me. It took enough of attention that I almost missed the girl going out the door. Maybe you could have lighten her (or at least her fact) a bit more. |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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05/31/2006 06:17:35 AM |
| Very nice and atmospheric |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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05/30/2006 08:17:30 PM |
| Great set up. Good dof. The white areas seem a tad too bright or over sharp. I like that you went to the trouble to set up the scene. |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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