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06/23/2004 10:12:51 PM · #1 |
How many does it take to change a lightbulb??
!!! |
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06/23/2004 10:22:49 PM · #2 |
How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb? Only 1...she holds the bulb while the world revolves around her! ;o)
Don't send hate mail...I was a sorority girl once so I have the right to say it! :o)
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06/23/2004 10:24:55 PM · #3 |
| Blondes don't need light bulbs ! They turn the lights on by opening the car door ! |
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06/23/2004 10:27:02 PM · #4 |
had to transfer this one......
how many photographers to change a light bulb?
1 to change it and 40 to tell them they doing it right
how many men?
its not on record. [these are jokes]!!!
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06/23/2004 10:27:41 PM · #5 |
How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a lightbulb?
NONE! They just redefine darkness as an industry standard.
:D
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06/23/2004 10:28:09 PM · #6 |
should I, should I not.... oh, what the...
Originally posted by pitsaman:
Blondes don't need light bulbs ! They turn the lights on by opening the car door ! |
That does not work for all cars -- some require the front door be open.
David
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06/23/2004 10:33:35 PM · #7 |
How many `Real Men' does it take to change a light bulb?
None: `Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark.
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06/23/2004 10:36:14 PM · #8 |
Originally posted by goodman:
How many `Real Men' does it take to change a light bulb?
None: `Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark. |
Hahaha, thats a good one |
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06/23/2004 10:42:58 PM · #9 |
Another one from my field...
How many counselors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the bulb really has to WANT to change... ;o)
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06/23/2004 10:44:24 PM · #10 |
Originally posted by BooZon:
How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a lightbulb?
NONE! They just redefine darkness as an industry standard.
:D |
Man, that is the funniest thing i've heard in weeks! (being a modem technician by trade) |
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06/23/2004 10:48:12 PM · #11 |
How many Psychiatrist does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the light bulb has to want to change itself first!
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06/23/2004 10:51:07 PM · #12 |
Originally posted by wimbello:
Originally posted by BooZon:
How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a lightbulb?
NONE! They just redefine darkness as an industry standard.
:D |
Man, that is the funniest thing i've heard in weeks! (being a modem technician by trade) |
I agree |
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06/23/2004 10:52:00 PM · #13 |
One more...I finally found it after searching for 10 minutes!
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO-ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12' DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS #@*$!#@ HOUSE!
I'm sorry ... what did you ask me?
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06/23/2004 10:58:32 PM · #14 |
Originally posted by laurielblack:
One more...I finally found it after searching for 10 minutes!
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO-ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12' DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS #@*$!#@ HOUSE!
I'm sorry ... what did you ask me? |
Now that's the best one so far.
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06/23/2004 11:12:50 PM · #15 |
How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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06/23/2004 11:16:20 PM · #16 |
Originally posted by goodman:
How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs! |
LOL ! |
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06/24/2004 12:19:22 AM · #17 |
How many altos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
5
1 who can actually reach up, and 4 to bitch about how high the part was.
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How many sopranos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
3
1 to call the electrician, and 2 to sleep with him
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How many folksingers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
5
1 to do it, and 4 to sing about how good the old bulb was. |
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06/24/2004 12:33:41 AM · #18 |
how many dpc photographers?
1. many postings to agree on what type of light bulb
[fluorescent, halogen, torch,]
2. ? [help me out]
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06/24/2004 12:55:15 AM · #19 |
This made the rounds a while back, but it is still too true.
---
How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light
bulbs
53 to flame the spell checkers
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another
6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is
"lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in
violation of their "acceptable use policy"
109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please
take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum,
and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped
111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this forum
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where
to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to
this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including
all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ
44 to ask what is a "FAQ"
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions
about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again.
---
David
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06/24/2004 12:57:44 AM · #20 |
Originally posted by goodman:
how many dpc photographers?
1. many postings to agree on what type of light bulb
[fluorescent, halogen, torch,]
2. ? [help me out] |
If you are going to have different lights, you will need at least 1 to set the WB.
Will probably need a couple to suggest that it needs a fill light to the lower left as well.
David
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06/24/2004 01:06:17 AM · #21 |
Originally posted by laurielblack:
One more...I finally found it after searching for 10 minutes!
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO-ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12' DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS #@*$!#@ HOUSE!
I'm sorry ... what did you ask me? |
ROFLMAO........that's good!
sue |
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06/24/2004 02:56:14 AM · #22 |
I still like this old standby:
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the giraffe and one to pour brightly colored machine tools into the bathtub.
Okay, I'll stop now. :-)
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06/24/2004 03:07:37 AM · #23 |
How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.
-Terry
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06/24/2004 03:43:59 AM · #24 |
How many photographers does it take to change a light bulb?
I can't believe you changed that light bulb! What were thinking? DUH! |
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06/24/2004 03:52:33 AM · #25 |
Originally posted by ClubJuggle:
How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.
-Terry |
I resemble that comment :)
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